Taking A Look At The Funny Side Of Boxing

Boxing – A sport which is an art, a sweet science or for some just pure brutality. Many people will have a differing opinion on just how boxing should be defined as a sport. What is without question though is that it is one which quite literally takes blood, sweat & tears.

Those who love the sport watch in amazement at the dedication & hard work committed in ones attempt to become one of the very best. Very few reach the absolute pinnacle…those that do can lay claim to fame and riches. For many though mediocrity and a normal living is all the trouble they get for weeks spent in the gym and years of being punched in the face.

Paralysis, slurred speech, Parkinson’s & even death, just some of the dangers faced by those who choose this sport as a way of life. It’s not just during their career where adversity is faced…for many the buzz can never be replaced. The adrenalin and adulation is like no other and when it’s all gone there is the realisation that ‘real life’ lays ahead of them. Depression, drug abuse and trouble with the law can all occur.

But in amongst it all there are moments of real comedy, tales filled with humour, press conferences and interviews which capture the wit, eloquence and funny side to this great sport.

Here I take a look at some of the funniest one liner, small tales from within boxing and just generally funny quotes from those at the very heart of it. Enjoy!!

Muhammad Ali – There was no better talker in history than ‘The Greatest’, whether he was stirring up anger in his opponent, whittling off pre-fight predictions or mocking his good friend Howard Cosell.

“Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because
there ain’t no one man who can keep up with the pace I’m gonna set
except me. There’s not a man alive who can whup me. I’m too fast. I’m
too smart. I’m too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That’s the
only way I’ll ever get licked.”

”I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” (On how good his golf game is)

“At one time Howard (Cosell) was considering a boxing career… They couldn’t find a mouth piece BIG enough”

He didn’t always get it his own way mind. In one attempt to once more show his wit he came unstuck, it was during an exchange with a flight attendant and reportedly it went as follows:

Flight Attendant: ‘’Sir the Captain has asked that ALL passengers fasten their seatbelt’s’
ALI: ‘’Superman don’t NEED no seatbelt’’
Flight Attendant: ‘’Superman don’t need NO plane’’

Randall “Tex” Cobb – Known for his chin, perhaps the best in the history of the sport and his famous one sided fight where he took a hiding for 15 Rounds against Larry Holmes. Cobb was as quick witted as they came.

(Asked about a possible rematch against Larry Holmes) “I don’t think his hands can take the abuse”

“Larry Holmes doesn’t hit as hard as Earnie Shavers. Nobody hits like Shavers. If anybody hit harder than Shavers, I’d shoot him.”

“Larry Holmes didn’t beat me he just won the first 15 rounds”

“When I got up I stuck to my plan — stumbling forward and getting hit in the face.”

During the referee’s instructions prior to his bout with Shavers, the ref asked the customary “Any questions”? Cobb replied “Can I bite him”?

Here are some more from various fighters & figures within the sport:

Willie Pep – “I’ve got it made. I’ve got a wife and a TV set — and they’re both
working.”

Brian London – answering if he would fight Ali again: “Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg.”

George Foreman: “Bob, I can’t chase these guys anymore.”
Bob Arum: “George, I can’t put it in the contracts that they can’t run.”

Tony Sibson – on being beaten in a match: “I figured I’d find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself “Where did he go?” I knew he was there because he kept hitting me.

Eddie Shaw – referring to Herol “Bomber” Graham: “He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.”

Blackie Sherrod – talking about a heavyweight contender: “He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts.”

Max Baer – when asked for his definition of fear: “Standing across the ring from Joe Louis and knowing he wants to go home early.”

Max Baer – During a break between rounds in his fight with Joe Louis, having taken a beating during the round an exchange of words took place between Baer & Jack Dempsey who was working his corner.

Jack Dempsey – “you’re doing fine, he hasn’t touched you’

Max Baer – “well you better talk to that referee, because someone is beating the blazes out of me!

Mickey Duff – ‘’So many of Barry Hearn’s boxers end up in hospital, he should sell his limousine and buy an ambulance.’’

John Conteh – After his heavy defeat by Matthew Saad Muhammad – ‘’I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.’’

Chuck Wepner  – ‘’I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I’m up to six foot five inches.’’

Jake LaMotta – ‘’The three toughest fighters I’ve ever been up against were Sugar Ray Robinson, Sugar Ray Robinson, and Sugar Ray Robinson. I fought Sugar so many times, I’m surprized I’m not diabetic! But I did have him off the canvas once…when he stepped over my body to leave the ring.’’

Bob Arum – after his fighter, Iran Barkley, won a fight: “If you think Barkley was mad before the fight, wait until he sees how many people are taking part of his purse’’

Henry Cooper – replying to boxing abolitionist, Baroness Edith Summerskill, about the brutalities of his sport.

Baroness: “Mr. Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?”
Cooper: “Well madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What’s yours?”

Willie Pastrano – Answering the fight doctor during his title bout against Jose Torres when asked, ‘’Do you know where you are?’’ he responded with ‘’you’re damn right I know where I am! I’m in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.”

Please feel free to add any others that may know of or heard, be it tales from after dinner speeches, press conferences you may have been at or just general ones you may have heard.